Missed
by SilverWolf7
Summary: Rory thinks on the Doctor after the events of 'The God Complex'  Spoilers inside.


A mix of spoilers and speculation on my part. Probably makes little sense. I doubt Amy ends up doing what I have her doing for a living in this fic, but hey, I have her doing it anyway. For the time being it suits her just fine, I think. Of course I don't think she'd stick with it. At one stage, she'll probably travel places herself.

* * *

Missed

Rory had no idea why it hit him so suddenly or so hard, but it did.

The same night the Doctor had left them, he had been content that Amy had gotten her goodbye, and that the Doctor had told her the reasons and that she had agreed with them even with all that they had gone through.

Amy had a rough first week, missing the travelling and the man himself, but Rory stuck by her side, especially during the rough times. By the time a month had passed, Amy was much better and able to laugh without wanting to cry afterwards.

It was when Amy had gotten a job at a little travelling agency that he lost it.

All his life, Amy had been the one to refuse to act her age, refused to grow up, refused to get a proper job, preferring to dress up and have fun. He had always wanted her to grow up, to see that he loved her as she was and not what she thought she had to be.

And now she was finally doing it and god help him, he even noticed that she enjoyed it. She may not be travelling anywhere herself anymore, but she was giving others the chance to. And she still got to dress up, but her new outfits were much more adult than her kissogram outfits ever were.

Her life was coming together, and while it may not be the perfect life she had originally wanted for herself, it was something she enjoyed and was all hers. Every now and then she even took his car, though she had no licence. There was no stopping her from doing silly things that were likely to get her into trouble or putting herself in danger.

It was a part of who she was, and he loved her for it.

It was a part of her that regardless of what the Doctor had thought wasn't his fault. It was all Amy, and had been her entire life. Lives even. Something that would never change.

He had changed. He had fought, he had killed. He had killed Amy, twice. He had lived so long that his mind could only hold so much information at once and stored the rest behind thick doors in his mind to stop him going completely insane.

He had a little problem with staying dead. He had noticed that in himself too.

And it was all of this, plus not having his own parting with the Doctor that broke him.

He got home from the hospital he now worked in, having been working as a nurse in the maternity ward for the day, when he realised that the Doctor had never found their baby. Oh, sure, they realised that she would be fine and grew up with them in one of her incarnations, before becoming River, but...the Doctor had never found their baby.

It took him a few horrifying minutes, before the sudden realisation that the Doctor more than likely hadn't looked for Melody popped into his head. Time lines. They knew that the little girl in the astronaut suit was Melody. And she had not been with them, even though she had been a child by that stage. She had grown up then alone, frightened and with the Silence.

Saving that version of Melody would have turned out to save the Doctor's life.

The Doctor wanted to die.

Rory hated that thought. Regardless of the fights he had gotten into with the Doctor, he cared for the man. They had been through too much to not care for each other. And that, he thought, was the reason why the Doctor left before he could say his own goodbye.

Rory was too much the nurse, trying to save someone he knew to be in pain, from death. A death he had already witnessed but would happen in the future. A death he had no right to stop, but couldn't sit by and watch again.

Amy hadn't tried to stop him from going. But he knew she still worried for him dying.

Crawling into bed, Rory turned to the wall, buried his head in his pillow and begun to cry. His friend was dying and there was nothing to do about it, because he knew when and where it happened. He hadn't had his own chance to say goodbye. At least not yet. The Doctor had told Amy he'd stop by and see them again sometime, but it was always a bit hard to tell one of the Doctor's lies from truth.

When it came to Amy though, the Doctor did seem to come back, so he believed it to be the truth.

Amy came home soon after, crawled in to bed still dressed in a sharp business suit which meant there was no special that week. She lay down beside him, covering his back with her front and sighed in his ear. "Just hit you, didn't it? Silly Rory. He won't be alone you know. He'll have us and River. He won't die alone."

And he had really needed to hear that, because as much as he and Amy had already witnessed the death of the Doctor, it was still to happen in the time period they were in. A time when they would likely still be alive, considering they were still to see themselves in Wales in the near future for that whole Silurian mess.

The Doctor wouldn't be alone. He'd be with his friends and knew he was cared for and about. In the end, he'd be content, if not happy. And that was all Rory could hope for when he finally stayed dead.

Still, he wished he had gotten the chance to say his own goodbye.

Perhaps next time...


End file.
